Overlooked for a coke head

After being passed over for a coke head, and realizing I am the biggest fool on the face of the planet, I have decided to embark upon something that I hope will inspire me to continue growing and becoming a stronger more independant woman. I have no idea how or if I will remain consistent with this blogging but I cannot get any lower than I feel right now. I allowed another person to blind me to my higher self.
Yes people I was deaf to what my head needed to hear. I only found my voice as I sat in the wee hours of last night passing on the wisdom I had stopped myself from listening to for way too long. It's funny how that works, you really only grasp the full impact of what you have allowed yourself to endure when you see it played out in another's life where thank god you have acquired some objectivity.
I loved a person so much, that I managed to convince myself that I would put up with anything, but it is true there comes a point where you just can't stomach it anymore. The days I have sat and told myself - wake up you are an idiot, you do not need to go through this and what's more if person x really loved me he would not put you through such utter hell.
So I at last have taken my first step and allowed that person to go on and not hurt me again. I have raised my standards back up to where they should have been all along. I feel utterly exposed and vulnerable - but for those of you who will read this perhaps find a familiar connection - when you have absolutely nothing left to breathe for but you have chosen to surround yourself with the truth then you have hope. That is what I have today, hope. Hope that one day I will get my inner strength back where it should have been to that place high high up where I am safe again.
Each day I will try to post and I will share my feelings of how I will get through this. Is it drama overload, no I don't think so, it is my life.